In my other life . . .

Everyone does it, everyone says it.  "In my other life I would be a . . ."


We all have different "sides" of ourselves.  Little glimmers of talent, that hobby or craft you enjoy.  There's always another side to the coin and most of us let our minds wander a little and daydream about what it would be like to take a different path, walk a different line or make wildly different choices that would be very different than our lives as they are. 


Now, I have to say, I love my life, my family, and even my job--most days. 


However, here's my little list of choices I fantasize about making "In another life" . . . followed by the reasons I'm not filling out that job application anytime soon.

1.  Food critic/writer--I think it would be fascinating to dine at various worldly restaurants.  I love to cook, I love unusual flavor combinations and I think I could pen some salivating descriptions for my readers.  This would be a good combination of my love of travel, love of constructive criticism and love of indulgence. 
      Reality's Downside--I'm not eating anything raw or disgusting, not for NOBODY!  Also, I have a family of picky eaters.  Realistically, I'd be dragging Grumpy, Frumpy and Lumpy out with me on occasion to taste test and how many times do you want to hear, "Can we go to McDonald's on the way home?"

2.   Teacher--Part of my personality always takes over and "Instructional Shawn" comes out when there is a concept to explain, a new procedure to grasp or a group to be lead.  I'd like to think my carefully crafted words and strength of character could inspire greatness in others--or at least explain to them how to tie your shoes, write a book report or fill out a college application. 
      Reality's Downside--My "Mouthy Shawn" would get me in trouble.  While I pride myself in having a great amount of tact and diplomacy in my professional life, when it comes to children, I lose some perspective and that special editing feature that allows me to assess a situation and react strategically goes all out the window.  I'd be fired for calling some mother who mistreats her child a "Useless Ho-bag" or something of equal offense. 

3.  Stylist--Fashion, makeup, clothing . . . who doesn't love to play dress up and hair salon . . . at age 35?  Come on, really, you don't walk the runways in your closet?  Okay, I've outed myself there.  Having a little girl certainly helps me with my love of playing dress up, but seriously, I would enjoy styling others clothes, hair, makeup.  I think there's so much you can do for someone's confidence if they look their best, and feel confident in their appearance.
    Reality's Downside--I am way too pragmatic, practical and realistic to style anyone who's not a working mom.  Expensive clothes, ridiculous trends, impractical shoes . . . not this woman.  If you can't wipe it clean, throw it in the washer, hose it down with magic wrinkle spray and wear it for at least two years, it AIN'T got a spot in my closet!  The words, "She looks ridiculous" and "I hope she falls on her ass--that'll teach her" have, in fact, come out of my mouth.  One of my personal motto's, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should" certainly applies to fashion:  just because they make a skirt THAT short, doesn't mean you should wear it, just because they make a lipstick that shade, doesn't mean you should slap it on, just because you can wear a junior's size shirt, doesn't mean it's appropriate! 

4.  Police Officer--The appeal here is pretty simple-helping people, thrill of the chase, making the world a better place.  Who doesn't want to bust a perp or solve a crime?  
     Reality's Downside--Pretty big bummer here.  I'm pretty sure you'll get poop on you and spit on at some point . . . and have to deal with drunk people.  Good lord, I'd be fired for constantly screwing with drunk people.  That, or I'd be fired for letting the murderers and gang bangers go to town on the rapists and child molesters.  I guess subscribe to a little bit of "Street Justice" school of thought. 

Others that have swam in my fantasy water . . .

Vegas Showgirl, Chef, Artist--Painter, Sculptor, Folk Artist, Marine Biologist, Cruise Director, Lawyer, Personal Trainer, Psychologist, OPI Nail Color namer (who HASN'T dreamed of that job?).

Jobs/Careers that would run from me as fast as I would run from them . . .

Proctologist, Podiatrist, Dentist, Actress, Singer, Pest Management Consultant, Personal Assistant, Finance Manager, Nun, Data Entry Person, Poultry Processor, Help Desk Technician, or God help me, Carnie!

There are hundreds of fascinating jobs out there.  I think the fun of this exercise is to imagine what our life would be like if we made different choices.  Don't read that as I have any regrets--I don't believe in them--regrets mean you don't like the person you are--which is shaped by the choices you have made.  Instead, I think about the neat things that appeal to me in each of the jobs or careers I find interesting and I'm going to try to add some of that appeal to my life--either in a hobby, an adventure, or heck, even test driving another occupation for a day or two.

Watch out for this . . . next time you see me at a party, I might ask you, What would you do in another life?