Dear shoe designers, stylists, et al . . . I don't want to be a pirate and sail the seven seas looking for treasure. I am not looking to slay a tiger or fight for my life in the gladiator ring. I am not a motor cycle chick looking to kick in a door and bust some heads. Not a cowgirl down on the farm or for GOD's sake, a pole dancer on stage.
Designers must have run out of ideas if this is the best they can do! Really? Really. Pirates, Cowgirls . . . are we really resorting to playing dress up like small children? If that's the case, can I request you reference more Tinkerbell, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. Or . . .
Can you just design some PRETTY f-ing shoes?
What's wrong with a lovely little snakeskin-patent leather-peep toe-sling back? And "yes" I have a shoe that has these four--my favorite four characteristics. These past two years have been the worst shoe years ever. I have walked through many a department store, discount store and boutique and left in utter disgust at the overwhelming selection of ugly being celebrated and offered up as the current selection. Slouchy, sloppy boots with stupid looking heels, Earthy, flat soled shoes that lace up your leg, Platform 5" heels, Boots that weigh 10 pounds and can crush your cat if dropped on and dear LORD, don't get me started on the most ridiculous abhorrent shoe I've seen: the peep toe boot. My Northern friends would laugh their ass off if you wore these. "Boot" gives some general implication that it can be worn in cold weather. If you put a hole in it exposing your toes, what's the point? You're either stupid, or a victim of the latest fashion trends.
I can understand incorporating some funky, edgy, fashion forward shoes to your wardrobe but what's passing for fashion right now borders on ridiculous--and not even ridiculous in a good, bold, quirky way, but in more of a "You pitiful thing, you really paid to wear that--look at you, you can't even walk in those" kind of way.
Who can spend their days looking this ridiculous? College students, Rock stars, Actual Cowgirls, Actual Pirates? I suppose I could embrace these trends, throw on an eye patch and some ugly boots and instead of dropping in to see clients with a cup of coffee, we'll go with GROG and haggle over Spanish Gold--loser walks the plank.
Seriously, though, does this observation push me over into the "old" category. Will I lose sight of when a piece of clothing or shoe has reached the end of its life as a "classic" staple in my wardrobe and eventually succumb to the ease and convenience of the polyester pant suit (you can just wipe stains right off of that fabric, you know)?
Ah, my pragmatic self says "who gives a crap" if I wear something that's lost its edge or modern day relevance. I guess I have my answer if I don't care to be judged that something I wear may not be "in" fashion. I would care more about judging myself a "fool" for wearing something so obviously a stupid trend that will be referenced the next decade for defining the "bad fashion" of the era. Is this what is known as "wisdom"? When you find it does it make you grown up or just old? Does not caring mean you have transcended some youthful foolishness?
I don't know about all of that. I just know, I don't want to be a pirate or a pole dancer. . . just a nice lady who wears some lovely things.
Loving your new blog! So. . . .I'm guessing you didn't make it to Platinum when they were auctioning off items like stripper poles and shoes! Miss you!
ReplyDeleteUmmm, where do you get those earthy, flat soled shoes that lace up your leg?
ReplyDeleteFunny, Mom! I left the "ortho" look out of my little rant. :)
ReplyDeleteGURL! You just need to get you some matching mother/daughter outfits ... like hot pink skin tight velour track suits with "Juicy" bedazzled on the booty! There's a book I read called Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old like a Skank you'd enjoy. It doesn't matter to me if you're dressing your child or yourself, PLEASEOHPLEASE use common sense in fashion!!! The open toed boot observation almost made me spit out my coffee on the keyboard! My favorite website is peopleofwalmart.com for outrageous fashion disasters.
ReplyDeleteAround town though, there is a common sight that makes me shake my head. I wince when I see a middle aged woman with LOTS of "work" done trying to be sixteen again. I can appreciate the effort to be fit, and hey, who doesn't secretly want a boob job and a tummy tuck after a couple kids, but SERIOUSLY, enough with the hoochie outfits. We get it ... you're working really hard ...and maybe you're not the trophy wife you were 15 years ago, but that doesn't mean you have to double up the effort to pour on more make-up, dress sluttier and get a deeper tan ... please, just STOP THE MADNESS, LOL
I am with you Shawn ... some classic wardrobe pieces that won't be "cringe worthy" in photos a decade from now are much appreciated in my book!